We have had the dog that injured its nose, the woman who couldn't find a tin of custard and one of my favourites ... the straight banana drama. Now I am grateful to Daily Telegraph sub and fellow Newcastle United supporter @laurieallsopp for alerting me to, wait for it, the man who stumbled on a rather large pear in Sutton from the Sutton Guardian. Don't you just love the use of the word 'rather'.
BBC journalist @JonMWelch, who flagged up the story of the Diss Christmas tree falling over in the wind, asks if editors are publishing this type of story for 'ironic website hits'. It's certainly a possibility. The dog that injured its nose led to 130,000 people logging on to the story on the Salisbury Journal website in a single day. Indeed the editor wondered whether the tale broke the record for page impressions per word anywhere on the web. As I said at the time, in this upside down world where hits on the website and driving digital audiences are critical, there is perhaps method in the Journal's madness. It will be the bizarre, the offbeat, the mistakes, the funnies and the downright bad that will get the biggest followings. If nothing else such stories add much-needed humour to regional papers. They have also led to the publication of the book Whitstable Mum in Custard Shortage. One for the Christmas stocking ...
Thanks to Mike Lowe for this addition to the ever-growing list of non-stories in regional newspapers. It has the added bonus of being the splash, which makes it a bit special. I use a copytasting yardstick for trainees which is "if someone told you the story in the pub would your ears prick up or would you move to another table". A 22-year-old woman moaning about a cheap pasty that was three days out of date might have me looking for a new pub. I wonder if the Folkestone Herald hasn't missed an angle or two here eg what modern mothers think is a suitable diet for their two-year-olds. Or maybe they should use a bit of shoe-leather investigating what these 'sell by' and 'use by' labels really mean.
This story has been doing the rounds on Twitter ... and looks like a very good addition to the growing collection of non-stories. But I have doubts whether or not it is real. First, nobody has said which paper it is from; second, why has it appeared now when the month mentioned in the story is April and third, not even the hardest pressed newsroom could really believe this is a story. I reckon it's probably a Framley Examiner-type spoof. Even if it is, 'the woollen head garment which is red and has a bobble' is just genius. If anyone knows anything more, please tell.
Update: @helenlewis has just Tweeted to say it's an April Fool. Makes sense (although not a very good one). And @Findus_Dinner has pointed me in the direction of another lost hat story, this one is real and it's from the Norwich Evening News. He also draws attention to the slightly less wholesome 'man defecated on hedgeghog in street' story. Bizarre .. but doesn't really fit in the non-story category. Keep them coming.
Thanks to David Bailey @surferdwb for sending me this bill from Norwich and for asking "I wonder how many extra copies of the paper this sold?" If the non-story theory works on print as well as on the web, it probably sold thousands. For more weird and wonderful bills and my tips on how to write good ones have a scroll through the training tips here.
Local newspaper editors have been receiving letters from Viking Books in the last few weeks asking for permission to use their 'quirkiest, oddest and most locally-specific headlines and articles'. The idea, says Viking, is to celebrate the most 'local' side of local journalism in all its glory. 'The tone will be warm and even reverential rather than mocking.' Of course it will. The title is Whitstable Mum in Custard Shortage - after the excellent non-story highlighted here last year. Also included is Mattress falls off truck into Kidderminster Road. I hope they have tracked down the Harrogate Advertiser's Straight banana drama. Another contender emerged this week concerning the owners of a parrot called Seve Ballesteros paying tribute to the golfer following his death. It looks like the publishers have found some crackers we haven't seen before - such as 'Man found nailed to bench,' 'Tributes as popular Lichfield cat dies' and 'Mass poisoning in donkey soup war'. The book is out on October 13 and costs £9.99 in hardback ... although you can pre-order from Amazon for £8.99. One for the Christmas list.
