Best of today's April Fools jokes

It's April Fools Day so the newspapers and websites are littered with spoof stories, some funny, some clever, some puerile. When I was an editor I used to be very po-faced about such whimsy. I never really understood why we would spend the whole year persuading people of our integrity and credibility and then one day just tell blatant lies - and take the mick out of the readers. Apart from anything else, very few so-called pranks were particularly funny. So under my tenure, there were no April Fools' jokes at all.
Now, though, I have lightened up a bit. The web, Photoshop and the fact humour is a key part of what publishers do, have made me take a slightly different view.
There are certainly a few stories around today that have potential. You would be forgiven for thinking that Sunderland signing a new right winger - head coach Paolo Di Canio - and Princess Diana sneaking into a gay bar disguised as a man with Freddie Mercury, were spoofs. But both are, apparently, true. Anyway, as it's Easter Monday, raining and I am not working, I have had time to have a bit of a trawl. Here are a few that caught the eye.

The New Statesman
I am always a sucker for a typography gag, so I enjoyed the New Statesman's decision to change its masthead to the much ridiculed Comic Sans. This is its old stylish slab-serif masthead:

And here is the new one:

The website says: 'We're delighted to announce that the New Statesman is unveiling a brand new look to celebrate its centenary, using the popular Comic Sans font. Starting today, we'll be replacing our web header and text fonts with Comic Sans, and the magazine will soon change too.'

"It's a classic font, and one which has been unfairly maligned," said Wolfgang Brick of the Berlin design house Täuschen, which was employed by the NS to makeover the title. "Like the New Statesman, it is jaunty, fun and frolicsome. It doesn't take itself too seriously."

And to prove how the New Statesman has become fun and folicsome its site has some fascinating teasers including Alex Andreou's article 'Melanie Philips stole my Muslim transsexual baby, forcing me to eat my cat, which gave me cancer'. 

Twitter

Twitter has announced that from now on you will be charged to use vowels.  The basic service Twttr is still free but you get only consonants. The premium Twitter service, with vowels, is $5 a month. Sounds a bit too plausible to me. Maybe they are just testing the water ... 

Daily Mirror

Another joke which might have had an element of credibility is Virgin's plans to put glass bottoms on its planes. There are of course technical reasons why it can't happen - and you would just be looking at a load of luggage. Pity though! 

Channel 4

The report that Boris Johnson will stand in David Miliband's seat of South Shields stretches all credibility, even without the newsagent called April Firston (possibly the least creative anagram ever). They might as well have said that Johnson, a right winger with no experience at the top level, had taken over the head coach's job at Sunderland. Oh, hang on ... 

The Daily Telegraph

The paper carries an advert from BMW on Page 3 for the new P.R.A.M. (Postnatal Royal Auto Mobile) - a limited edition soft top convertible to coincide with a forthcoming birth.

Metro

Metro ran a round-up of all the best April Fools from this morning ... including The Sun's report that the Angel of the North is to be painted pink and renamed after Cheryl Cole.

But then the paper revealed that it had made them all up ... an elaborate reverse ferret kind of joke.

Daily Mail

According to the Mail, Asda is now selling toilet paper in 50 shades of grey. Each ‘shade’ has been named after Christian Grey’s traits, from ‘enigmatic’ to ‘obsessive’. Asda’s director of tissue buying, says there is a growing trend towards themed toilet paper. ‘Much like Grey’s character all rolls are tightly wound and will take time to unravel.’ I really do hope this is an April Fools joke.

The Mail also reports that owls are being trained to deliver the internal post at a North Yorkshire animal sanctuary. The story is written by Nesta Vowles. Funny, don't remember her on any of our training schemes.

Other jokes include Google launching Google Nose - with its Aromabase. Don't just type and talk, now you can smell too. And then there's YouTube closing down and choosing the best ever video to mark its departure.
The Daily Telegraph has a round-up of most of the newspaper jokes here. The Guardian has a blog here. Unlike them though, I waited until after midday to reveal all. Isn't that what you are supposed to do? 

Budget coverage: It's The Sun what wins it

The Sun's Budget coverage is quite brilliant. How to deliver a double whammy to the Government over the Budget and Press regulation with one waspish front page. Note the 'proper gander' strapline. George Orwell would have approved.

The Daily Mirror also takes a robust campaigning stance with a damning verdict of the Chancellor's Fudge-it Budget. I love the contrast between the black and white urchins and a smug Osborne. Another page that would have scored well with Orwell.

The most disturbing front page, though, is by the Mail. The paper may take a positive view of the Chancellor's measures - but it hasn't done him any favours by morphing him into a grotesque Thatcher hybrid. It's not just the gruesome image of Osborne's face with Thatcher's hair, but the grizzled hands that will keep me awake tonight.

The Daily Telegraph may have the straightest headline of the day, but it has by far and away the best picture. As @SimonNRicketts commented on Twitter, it's the worst Abbey Road tribute ever.

And within minutes David Stokes @scottywrotem had posted this. Great comic value on a day that didn't really offer much to make you smile.

The Guardian also has a bold front. It uses a classic Budget day front page cartoon showing Osborne the slug struggling at the bottom of a beer jug. Nice.

The Times also goes for a cartoon, by the brilliant Peter Brookes, with Osborne proclaiming 'We're on the right track' as he waits helplessly for his fate.

The Independent returns to its Watchmen theme that it used for the autumn statement. Then it had the Chancellor pulling a skeletal rabbit out of the hat. Now he has killed the rabbit and is reaching for the beer bottle. The drink theme - and the Drown your sorrows headline used in The Guardian - is accenuated by Osborne's bulbous red nose. 

Drown your sorrows is also the line in i.

The Scotsman also chooses a cartoon for its front page illustration, portraying the Chancellor as Dandy character and well-known Scot, Desperate Dan.

The Northern Echo is another paper taking to drink with its Small beer verdict.

Meanwhile the Express decides the Budget is all good news for everyone and produces the most ordinary page on a day of otherwise extraordinary pages.

There are clearly some great papers around. Please make sure you buy at least one. 

Thanks to #tomorrowspaperstoday and @hendopolis

@hendopolis

   

The Sun goes on the offensive

Well done to The Sun for a fine front page that recognises the importance of what is happening tomorrow. Let's hope MPs see it and come to their senses. I'm not hopeful though ...

The final newsquiz. 13 points to beat

The Mail Online trainees at the Manor in Howden

The Mail Online trainees left Howden today and will begin their six-month placements at regional titles and agencies from Monday. They had three-days with video trainer Andrew Glover and the final two days with Mike Watson and me. We finished with the final newsquiz. It was won this week by Wills Robinson with 13 points. He collected the scratchcard which paid out £20. It wasn't quite enough to catch Kieran Corcoran though. Kieran had the top score for the previous three weeks and finished on a total of 49, 1.5pts ahead of Wills. Well done to them - and good luck to them all. See if you can do better. There are 23 points up for grabs.

Kieran with the Champagne and Wills with his winning scratch card

1. What is the name of the UKIP candidate who came second in the Eastleigh by-election? For a bonus, in which county is Eastleigh? 

2. Daniel Day-Lewis won the best actor Oscar for Lincoln. It was the third time he has won the award. His first was for My Left Foot but for which film did he win his second Oscar? And for a bonus, who tripped up the stairs at the Oscars?

3. Chef Gordon Ramsey has lost the contract to run the restaurant in which London hotel?

4. Chelsea's interim manager Rafa Benitez had a well-publicised pop at the club's owner and fans on Wednesday night after a 2-0 away victory. Who were Chelsea playing?

5. A couple of businesses were sold this week so, for one point each, who bought ESPN and who bought the Republic chain of shops?

6. The BBC apologised after more than 600 viewers complained about a sadistic sex scene in which programme?
7. Which band at the Big Reunion did not have the full original line-up?
8. Independent councillor Colin Brewer, who told a social worker that  'disabled children cost too much and should be put down,' resigned from which council? 

9. Which weather phenomenon forced Beijing residents to stay indoors?  

10. Which diocese did Cardinal Keith O'Brien resign from?
11. Australian billionaire Clive Palmer is planning to build a replica of what?
12. Which charity was Prince Harry working for when he said he hoped his mother would be proud of him?
13.  RBS chief executive Stephen Hester warned there was 'another ________ year ahead for us'. What is the missing word?

14. Why was 48-year-old Michael Rennie in the headlines?

15. One of the Great Train Robbers has died at the age of 81. What was his name?

16. Pope Benedict stood down at last night. By what name will he now be officially known?

17. Clara Oswald, played by Jenna-Louise Coleman, is about to become whose companion? 

18. Which Tory MP has been rebuked by the Commons spending watchdog for sending 'abusive and insulting' messages? 

19. Why are the posh 'Deans Dinners' at Magdalen College, Oxford, under threat? 

20. Harry Hill is to edit which publication for Comic Relief?

Answers here 

Capturing Swansea's glory in print

What an amazing day for Swansea. The journalists at the South Wales Evening Post were certainly among those who had a fantastic time - some of them at Wembley and some making sure the paper reflected the passion and joy of the city. Not only did Swansea FC win their first major trophy but they broke the record for the biggest scoreline in League Cup history. Well done to all concerned including designers Emma Bryant, Siân David and Mat Davies and photographer Rob Melen. Above is the front page and below are a couple of others. Hopefully the paper will sell like hot cakes tomorrow.

The Western Mail also inevitably splashed on the Swansea victory and most of the nationals led their back pages and sports sections on the 5-0 victory over Bradford. Here's a selection.

I am delighted that another team in black and white won today ... and scored four goals for the first time this season. It was a cracking day on Tyneside where Newcastle not only beat Southampton 4-2, and moved ahead of Sunderland, but also celebrated the influx of French players. Blaydon Races was sang in French, La Marseillaise was played and can-can girls graced the pitch. 

The Newcastle Journal certainly entered into the spirit, changing its name to Le Journal for the day and asking French midfielder Yohan Cabeye to edit the paper. Just to add the icing on the gateau ... Cabeye scored Newcastle's third goal. Great stuff.  

Post wraps it up with cracking front

It's a big footballing day for Swansea tomorrow - and the South Wales Evening Post certainly reflects that with today's wrap. The idea to put the new players on the front and the old stars on the back came from acting editor Cathy Duncan and, as you can see, has been brilliantly executed by supersub Siân David (a former Editorial Centre trainee).  Readers have to name the five Swans' legends on the back page. Cracking page and definitely one to keep for all Swansea fans. Anyone know what the Bradford T&A did? Send me its front and I will post it here.

Newsquiz: Kieran and Mia's 14 to beat

The Mail Online trainees have had a break from me this week as I have been in Bristol interviewing for Local World and then attending its Future Fit conference. Instead they have had sessions at PA Training's Manor in Howden from Mike Watson, David Banks and Fiona Webster. As usual they finished the week with the newsquiz and I am pleased to say the top scores are slowly getting better. This week Kieran Corcoron and Mia de Graaf shared top spot with 14 points each. It's the third consecutive week that Kieran has had the highest score, so well done to him. The rest will need to up their game if they are to prevent him from achieving a clean sweep and winning the overall prize next week. The trainees on the Press Association foundation course in Newcastle also had a crack at this week's quiz and Martin Flynn was top with 13. Reckon you can do better? There are 23 points up for grabs this week.  

A barefoot David Cameron ... but where was he? (Q7)
Photo by the Press Association

1. A Surrey newspaper ran the headline 'Surbiton's most famous fictional resident dies' this week. To whom did it refer?
2. Who caused a disturbance when she spoke at the Cambridge Union Debating Society?
3. Coronation Street actress Catherine Tyldesley received 'a lot of stick' on Twitter after donating her £10,000 Family Fortunes' prize to a charity that supports the families of prisoners. What is it called?
4. David Cameron revealed he had been ticked off by his wife over the shortage of women in the Cabinet. There are four. Theresa May is the Home Secretary and Maria Miller is the Cuture Secretary but, for a point each, name the other two.
5. Reeva Steenkamp's funeral was held in which South African City?
6. Hilary Mantel made her controversial remarks about the Duchess of Cambridge at the London Review of Books Lecture. Where was it held?
7. David Cameron went barefoot and expressed remorse for the massacre of hundreds of Indians at the Golden Temple in which city?
8. Who won best British Female Solo Artist at the Brits? And for a bonus who won best International Female Solo Artist?
9. Who designed this year's Brit award trophy?
10. The 4G auction raised £2.34bn for the Treasury, which was less than forecast.  How much was it hoping to raise?
11. Michael Jackson's son appeared as a presenter/correspondent on which US show?
12. What is Kelly Hoppen's new role?
13. When does the Eastleigh by-election, to find a replacement for Chris Huhne, take place?
14. The jury in the Vicky Pryce trial sent the judge three diferent notes containing a total of how many questions? For a bonus what was the breakdown of men and women on the jury?
15. What was the name of the British pub in Lyon where two Spurs fans were attacked?
16. Where will former Australian captain Ricky Ponting play cricket this coming season?
17. Which country was Prince Philip referring to when he told a nurse 'your country must be half empty'?
18. Three would-be suicide bombers who plotted 'murder on a horrendous scale' were found guilty at which court?
19. Prince Harry made the front pages hugging his girlfriend during a skiing holiday in Verbier. What is her name?
20. Former Tory party chairman Lord McAlpine is to drop his defamation claims against Tweeters who have fewer than how many followers?
Answers here 

Design awards: Honorable mention for Times

It's that time of year when dozens of judges from the Society of Newspaper Design pore over the world's newspapers and decide which are the best looking. The five winners, who can now claim to be the world's best designed newspapers, were announced on Wednesday. They are:

Dagens Nyheter, Stockholm, Sweden

Welt am Sonntag, Berlin, Germany 

Die Zeit, Hamburg, Germany

Politiken, Copenhagen, Denmark

The Grid, Toronto, Canada

You can see a slideshow of each one here.

As usual British newspapers were under-represented. I was pleased to see, though, that The Times received a well-deserved Judges' Special Recognition Award for its 'visual story telling' of the Olympics.

The judges said: "It’s that level of detail that really separates this from other entries. It’s clean, well thought-out, and so smart. It uses the medium incredibly well, and in such unique ways. It was the most thorough and consistent coverage we saw of the Games. A true Olympic effort — and all done on deadline." Well done to design editor @jonhilldesign and his team.

The Times also won a Gold Medal for Magazine Design for Eureka. The judges said it was 'both beautiful and explanatory'. It is also, sadly, no more. The 64-page science magazine closed last October after 37 issues.

Another paper that caught my eye was the Gulf News with its confident and detailed infographics. If you want to see more, you can plough through the many categories on the SND website.