A fight to the death over use of grammar ...

After I commented on Weird Al Yankovic's Word Crimes (if you haven't yet watched it, you really need to),  I received a message from Tobias Hector.  He pointed out that  Weird Al would get his pedantic ass kicked at Grammar Rumble and sent a link. It's a video in which gangs fight to the death, using knives and the Chicago Manual of Style, over grammatical disagreements,  Watch it here. It makes Weird Al look positively normal.   

Weird Al's Word Crimes - flawed but very funny

Eleven years ago Lynne Truss's book Eats Shoots and Leaves encouraged people to talk about grammar again. It even became a popular Christmas stocking filler. I remember being asked to arbitrate in a tipsy Boxing Day dispute between two women, both having received the book, who had opposing views on the possessive apostrophe when used with names ending in s. You must be joking I said, sneaking off to watch the football.
Now the video Word Crimes by Weird Al Yankovic has pushed grammar back to the fore - this time with the kids and the online community. The parody of Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines has clocked up almost 13 million YouTube views and been requested in clubs instead of the politically incorrect original. It has also had linguists taking to their blogs, some in support and some pointing out that Weird Al hasn't got all his grammar rules in order.
My only view is everyone should watch it. It isn't the definitive guide on grammar. It's just a good song, a clever video ... and it's very funny. And if it gets people talking about contractions, pronouns, homophones, dangling participles, syntax and less v fewer, that can only be a bonus.

Have I Got Homophones For You ...

And so to homophones. Last night, BBC's Have I Got News For You used the most common homophone of all - lead for led. The problem is that it looks right, it sounds right and the spell check won't spot it. Newspapers, particularly those without vigilant subs, are littered with homophones. I sometimes wonder if anybody even notices. In my collection are: 

The MP climbed the greasy poll

Topless dancers stripped to the waste

John Prescott peddled his bicycle

The Pope rung his hands.

The foreign secretary received a wrap across the knuckles

There are hundreds of them but those most commonly found in copy are: 

allowed/aloud

bail/bale

berth/birth

complement/compliment

discreet/discrete

elicit/illicit

faint/feint

fair/fare

flair/flare

lightening/lightning

palate/palette/pallet

passed/past

principle/principal

sight/site

stationary/stationery

waiver/waver

And don't get me started on it's/its…

Journalists need to take care. It's a maze (not a maize) out there...

How do you spell grammar? With an F

Here's a somewhat blunt grammar guide, from www.tasteofawesome.com, for my journalism training colleagues to use as a last resort. They must remember not to use it when visiting schools though. Incidentally, it isn't recommended that you visit www.tasteofawesome.com unless you are retired, unemployed or on a three-week holiday with nowhere to go.

Catastrophe with the apostrophe

This one has been upsetting subs everywhere this week so thought it was worth recording for posterity. @AlexiMostrous, who first drew attention to it, says if you call your business Apostrophe then you probably shouldn't do this. Fair point.

Couple of old chestnuts ...

Here are a couple of links that have been pinging about on the web which illustrate some of our old favourite points. The first, forwarded to me by Tony Johnston, is the most amazing press release ever written. A little bit of satire that has gained worldwide publicity for Pitchpoint Public Relations. It's the same theory as non-stories in newspapers - write something particularly bad and the world and his dog will visit your website. Previous examples include the dog with the injured nose, the Whitstable custard shortage, the Kidderminster mattress chaos and my personal favourite, Irma's banana drama. The lesson is that publishing nonsense can get you noticed and lead to all-important hits on your website - madness or genius? We might have to write it into our training courses for young journalists - bring in at least one non-story a day.

Thanks too to David Bailey of the Sligo Weekender for drawing my attention to this Facebook exchange. When I bang on about grammar and spelling these days, I am increasingly faced with youngsters from the 'lol, OMG, cul8r' generation who ask whether such archaic rules will be relevant in the post-newspaper age. It's all about communication and understanding, they say. It is indeed.

Give us an 's

Those of you who get irritated by apostrophe abuse might enjoy this. It's St James's of course ... why penalise James just because his name ends in an s? If they reinstated the 's we might win something.